The Confessions - Book XI

Augustine moves from exploring memory (in Book X) to exploring time by asking something most of us never consider - what is time? Augustine wants to explore this in part to answer some silly questions and objections that had been raised, such as - did God just do nothing before he created the world? Did God change his mind when he decided to create the world? - and other such questions (and challenges).

Augustine begins by admitting that questions about time involve difficult matters, and he prays to God for help. Part of the problem is God, who is eternal, exists outside of time - while we exist in time. So for us, it's difficult to understand existence where everything past, present, and future, exists now and always.

Another problem involves the existence of time. Augustine points out the future does not exist, we only anticipate it's coming. The past equally does not exist, we only have a memory (which he explored in Book X) of it. Only the present seems to exist, but it very quickly passes from future to past. Oddly, when we measure time, we measure something that does not exist - we only measure the time it takes for the future, which does not exist, to move to the past, which does not exist. While we think we might be measuring the present, in fact, we can't truly measure the present. Yet, while time may only exist in our mind, we cannot exist, or even think, without it, and so, we live with it because we must.

For Augustine, time is intimately connected with God, since God created time along with the universe - so that a contemplation of time should bring us to praising God - to be in awe and wonder of Him and His creation. For Augustine, the words "In the beginning . . . " in Genesis should be viewed as being for our benefit, since we are in time, and in a spritual sense (following Ambrose) as God being the source of our being, as well as the First Cause of everything. So for us, who are in time, the creation occurred at a point of time before everything else. For God, who is eternal, the creation occurred in eternity, even though, in part, God stepped into time, so to speak for our benefit, so that, from our perspective, the creation occurred in the beginning. Though Augustine finds this reasonable, he readily admits the mystery this involves which goes beyond our complete understanding.

On to Book XII

Back to Book X.

The Great Divorce

A friend and I recently discussed universalism in Christian history. He suggested I read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, which addressed the topic. I just finished it.  Lewis meant to contrast this work to that of William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, in which Blake told of a union of the two.

In this fantasy, the no-name narrator awakes in a bleak, lonely city. He eventually discovers it's hell. Though anyone can wish anything into existence, they keep wishing new houses further and further apart from each other because they can't stand each other.

He finds a bus stop, and gets in line. He discovers the bus takes you to the beautiful foothills of heaven (on sort of a holiday). There the passengers can move on to the high country of heaven (in which case hell becomes purgatory for them).
After they roam around some, shining ones come to meet them and urge them on to the high country. Each shining one is someone they knew in their past life who has chosen to come down from the high country to urge the passengers to repent and move up. The narrator gets to observe these interactions.

Usually, the passengers have clung to something they refuse to let go of which would enable them to move up. The interactions provide the most fascinating aspect of the book. Through the narrator, you hear just about all the excuses and justifications for sin and self-absorption that basically exists. Sadly, most of the passengers can't wait to get back to the bus and return to the bleak city (hell).

The shining one guide for the narrator, who explains what is going on, turns out to be George MacDonald (a 19th Cent. fiction author, poet, and Christian minister) whom Lewis considered his imagination mentor.  MacDonald promoted the possibility of universalism (God's love will save everyone). The book in part seems to be a way for Lewis to reconcile himself with some of MacDonald's views.

Many of the issues of heaven and hell, salvation, predestination and election take a different perspective as the guide attempts to put them in the perspective of eternity instead of our linear way of looking at time. In any event, the guide conveys the notion that those in the bleak town have chosen to live there, and will not likely want to give it up.

In the end, the narrator wakes up and realizes it was all a dream which reinforces what Lewis said in his preface that all this was a fantasy - a means of exploring these issues (not a theological essay - which some seem to confuse it with - Lewis always renounced any claims to being a theologian.)

The Silence

I watched "The Silence," (Tystnaden in Sweedish) a film by Ingman Bergman from 1963. It's the third film in what is known as Bergman's "Silence of God" trilogy, "Through a Glass Darkly," (1962) and "Winter Light" (1962). I haven't yet watched the first two films, but I understand that what is implied there is made very clear by the third film, there is no God in the world, and thus only silence remains from the cold, bleak universe.

The story focuses on two sisters, Ester (played by Ingrid Thulin) and Anna (played by Gunnel Lindblom). Ester represents the intellectual (who is dying), and Anna represents the sensual. Yet both are bereft and without hope in their own ways, and both resent each other.

It's unclear where they are, but wherever it is, it is bleak, cold, dark, and all out war is about to break out, though they stay in a largely vacant hotel, where the only other guests seems to be a troupe of performing dwarfs, who are much more alive than the two sisters, though the dwarfs are despised in the social order and only tolerated at the theater.

Anna's very young son, Johan (about 9), serves as the only connection between the two sisters, the dwarfs, and the rest of the oblique, yet plush, hotel. (The camera angles there give a sense of alienation.) He is the only basis for an irrational hope in an irrational world.

It's quite clear that in a silent, godless universe, there's no basis for morality, and many in a 1963 were shocked by some of what goes on in the film. There's also no love, only sex, except for love for Johan, who provides the only real connection left between the two sisters, again providing the irrational hope in an irrational world.

Most find the film deeply disturbing, which is exactly what Bergman hoped to convey, and mainly why it is considered a great film. Bergman wants to disturb complacency with a realistic view of a nihilistic universe. However, in providing a sympathetic, curious, and mostly innocent child, Bergman points to an existentialist hope for meaning, hope, and love, though it is in the area of non-reason. Bergman's later works expanded on this existentialist hope.

(I previously posted on another Bergman film, "Hour of the Wolf.")

The Confessions - Book X

Book X marks a major division in the Confessions, since Austine ends his autobiography in Book IX. Augustine begins a journey into the mind and the soul.

He journeys into the mind by exploring memory. Augustine wonders how the memory holds so much, and can recall things and events not before us with such vividness at times that we can almost feel, touch, smell, hear, and even see it. Augustine cannot grasp the vastness of this storehouse, which means his mind cannot fully know itself, and "I myself cannot grasp the totality of what I am."

Augustine goes on to examine the different kinds of memories, how they were formed from our senses, and ponders how our mind knows the external world through our senses, and then process those experiences and stores them in our memory. Part of this goes into epistemology - that part of philosophy that explores the basis for knowledge (how we know we know). Augustine wonders how we know about things we forgot about, as well as how we recognize things we haven't yet experiened. This delves into a-priori knowledge (knowledge before experience). Most importantly, Augustine explores how we know or recognize God before or without sensory experience.

It's questions and explorations like this that makes Augustine so read by so many, Christians and non-Christians alike.

From here, Augustine goes on to relate his search for God, and an examination of himself before God, a journey into his soul. He carefully considers what John broadly describes as the three main sins that encompases everything in the world, "the lust of the flesh. and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (KJV - see other translations for alternative )." As Augustine carefully examines each area in his life, he confesses he is full of sin, especially in the pride of life, since he often seeks the praises of others, and places that above seeking the approval of God.

Augustine concludes that he can find no safe place for his soul except in God.

Onto Book XI

Back to Book IX

The Shack

A friend recommended The Shack to me, not because he agreed with it, but because he found it thought provoking. I had heard about it from others, and some of what I heard was a bit discomforting, though they often highly praised it. I decided to read it for myself, especially upon hearing it had sold somewhere between 10 and 15 million copies.

William Paul Young (who goes by Paul) wrote The Shack, his first published book, as a fiction. However, those who told me something about it tended to treat it as something between a theological work or a true story. Though the sales figures show many love this book, many have attacked it as heretical, again treating it as a theological work rather than as a fiction.

Paul grew up as a missionary kid in West Papua New Guinea. There he suffered sexual abuse at school by members of the New Guinea tribe they lived among. His father verbally abused him, and he was emotionally distant from both his parents. Throughout his life, close friends and relatives died unexpectedly, often young. He later cheated on his wife, Kim. To remedy the adultery, Kim said he had to face every awful thing in his life.

Young initially wrote The Shack for his six children as a way to explain his understanding about God and how God helped heal his inner hurts. He gave some extra copies to friends who urged him to get it published. Two friends, Wayne Jacobsen and Brad Cummings, both writers, collaborated with him to rewrite the book. They sent it to many publishers who all rejected it, so they formed a new company, Windblown Media, and self-published it.

In the story, Mack, the central character, goes, at God's invitation, back to the place of his deepest hurt, the shack where a serial child killer murdered his 6 year old daughter, Missy. When he arrives, he finds that God the Father appears to him as an African-American woman (Papa), God the Son appears to him as a Middle Eastern man (Jesus), and God the Holy Spirit appears to him as an Asian woman (Sarayu). Papa clarifies he chose this appearance for now to get beyond Mack's stereotypical pictures of him (he later takes the appearance of a man). They spend a weekend (or do they?) in discussion with Mack, sometimes all together - and sometimes one on one, sometimes in the Shack and sometimes outside near the Shack (one evening, Mack lays with Jesus on a dock staring up at the stars talking away). During that time, they explain to Mack who they are, what they want, but most importantly, they help Mack with the hurt and anger about Missy's murder, especially with his anger at God about it.

In a fiction, you can explore what ifs - it doesn't have to be true. You can explore something like, "what if the Trinity appeared to me in a shack - how would they appear to me?" You can explore different theological positions - they don't have to be true. You can even advance a message (usually called a theme in literature). However, good fiction usually advances the theme by relating the actions of characters rather than primarily by dialogue. And good fiction usually avoids making a character into a mere mouthpiece for the author.

A problem I have with The Shack is that the Trinity seems to mostly become a mouthpiece for expressing Paul Young's theology. While I thought some of it was spot on (especially about God's love and His desire to heal us), other aspects unabashedly contradict answers to the same questions orthodox Christianity carefully developed from Scripture to the same questions over two millennia. This is likely why Young has come under fire from many Christians. At the same time, many love his book, since many identify with the hurt place he is writing from, and the way he portrays God responding to that hurt.

Young expresses a definite theology. He attended Canadian Bible College and graduated from Warner Pacific College with a degree in religion. He attended (but did not complete) seminary, and pastored a church for a time. His favorite author is Jacque Ellul, who was heavily influenced by Karl Barth - a prominent neo-orthodox theologian. He made it clear in interviews that he has given up on the church, his seminary training, and what he would view as traditional Christianity. Most disturbing, Young often had the Trinity put the views they expressed above what the Scripture said.

Yet in many ways, I enjoyed reading The Shack, even if I didn't always agree with the theological views Young expressed through his Trinity characters. Because the book reflected the very real process Paul went through to seek healing from all his hurts, and because he initially wrote to communicate this to his children, there are many parts of the book that come across as deeply personal and very touching.

The Confessions - Book IX

Though Augustine relates other events in Book IX, he focuses on the death of his mother, (St.) Monica. Now that her son has fully converted to God, and safely rests in the arms of the church, Monica feels she has accomplished all she had to do on earth. She soon thereafter falls gravely ill, and serenely dies. However, before she goes, she and Augustine get to share an extended discussion about life and more at Ostia by the Sea. Augustine praises his mother and the life she led, prompting him, her husband, and many others to find Christ by the exemplary life she led. Though he rejoiced she went to be with the Lord, he finds he experiences deep pain at her loss, and concludes God accepts his loss since God is deeply compassionate.

Augustine also resolves several other matters. He leaves his career teaching rhetoric ("a salesman of loquacity"). He reexamines his studies in Manicheanism, and finds amazement that he ever believed it. He finally accepts baptism, and immerses himself in the study of Scripture, especially the Psalms.

Onto Book X

Back to Book VIII

The Confessions - Book VIII

Augustine continues to struggle to make a full commitment to Christianity, mostly centered around his passion for sexual sin, but also in his concept of God given his previous experience and thought in the Manichean (Gnostic) religion. He feels paralyzed and unable to move forward to fully embrace Christianity. He is especially embarrassed when some of his intelligent friends not only embrace Christianity, but commit to a chaste lifestyle. Augustine feels torn by his two natures, though at the same time he tries to reject the dualism inherent in Manicheanism, especially since he feels the promptings of "Lady Continence" and moves off to a bench in a garden to weep.

At this point, one of the most poignant moments in literature, philosophy, and the Christian Church occurs. Augustine hears the voice of a child next door saying in a sing-song refrain, "Pick it up and read it." After pondering what this might be, Augustine concluded it's the voice of God that he should open his Bible and read the first chapter he found. He found, "Not in riotousness and drunkenness, not in lewdness and wantonness, not in strife and rivalry,: but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh and its lusts. (Romans 13:13-14.) Augustine remarks he didn't need to read more. "No sooner than had I finished the sentence than it was as if the light of steadfast trust poured into my heart, and all the shadows of hesitation fled away."

On to Book IX

Back to Book VII

The Confessions - Book VII

Though by now Augustine has somewhat abandoned a dualistic (good and evil are equal combatants) Manichaeism, and though he is dealing with Christianity as he hears it through Ambrsose' sermons, and as he begins to read Scripture, he is also trying to deal with it in the context of the current Neo-Platonic philsophy he is now reading.

He sort of understands that Scripture teaches that God is all spirit, and not any part material. However, since both Manichaeism and Neo-Platonism teaches that God is at least part material, Augustine mightily struggles on this point.

He also mightly struggles on the problem of evil - how to account for evil in the world? He finally reaches the point of believing that God created everything good, and that the evil we see today, including sinful man, is a corruption of the original good that a good and holy God made.

As Augustine studies more Scripture, he begins to realize much that the Neo-Platonists have left out in explaining all of what is around us. For example, they left out any explanation about how Jesus Christ is God in human form, the Word made flesh who dwelt among us. They leave out any praise to God. Worse, they tend to believe in more than one God (polytheism). He did heed their advise to turn inward, and there, inspired by reading Scripture, he found a powerful vision of God, seeing a light "higher than my mind." However, Augustine finds that the weight of sin drags him back from this vision, and a lack of humility keeps him from enjoying God and putting his full faith in Christ.

While Augustine was certainly aware of Neo-Platonism, and certainly influenced by its thoughts, his writings here certainly indicate that he did not accept it whole cloth, and tended to accept its thoughts only so far as he could find it accorded with Scripture.


On to Book VIII
Back to Book VI

The Confessions - Book VI

In Milan, Augustine struggles with Christianity as he listens to the sermons of Ambrose. He wants to meet with Ambrose and discuss Christianity at length with him, but Ambrose, a busy bishop, does not have the time, so Augustine listens to his sermons, which impresses him. He thinks through his problems with Christianity. He realizes that Christianity does not have to prove all its claims to him, and that he needs to trust, a form of faith. He thinks this is superior to the claims of Manicheanism, which claims it can prove all its claims, but he finds it really proves nothing. Augustine comes to realize that he believes most things by trust, a form of faith, and usually does not ask that everything be proven to him before he believes, so he reasons, why would he ask Christianity to do so.

Augustine mightly struggles with sexual pleasures during this time. He is amazed that a close friend has spurned sexual pleasure in order to pursue wisdom. Augustine is not sure whether to admire his friend or despise him. In any event, Augustine decides he must marry a respectable woman, and becomes engaged to a young girl which he must wait two years before he can marry her. Thus he decides he must send away the woman he has been living with, though he decides to keep the boy they have parented together. This breaks both her heart and his. However, despite his best efforts, he finds that he cannot keep away from another woman before he can marry his young bride to be. He knows God should punish him, wonders why God doesn't, and believes it is because of his mother's earnest prayers for him. All the while, it is clear that Augustine is drawing nearer to God, and getting more ready to make the commitment to become a Christian.

On to Book VII

Back to Book V

The Confessions - Book V

In Book V, Augustine moves from teaching Rhetoric in Carthage (where we left him in Book IV) to teaching it in Rome. However, he is unsatisfied since he finds his students stay in his class till just before it is time to pay, and then they leave for another Rhetoric teacher.

In the meantime, he meets Faustus, one of the great Manichee luminaries. He is initially impressed since Faustus, unlike other Manichee teachers, refuses to theorize about subjects he doesn't know well, especially astronomy, but he is especially impressed with his rhetorical style. However, as time wears on, he is disillusioned since he finds Faustus is mostly flash, with little content to back up his flashy talk.
Augustine then finds a group called "the Academics." They are basically nihilists (they question everything - and eventually find no meaning to life - nihilists.) Augustine eventually is discouraged by their approach, and drifts back to the Manichees, but is so confused by their philosophy, he soon thinks of God as as a "physical mass" or a "luminous body," a bit strange since the Manichees tended to think of anything physical as evil, and thus rejected that Christ had come in the flesh.


Eventually Augustine takes up teaching Rhetoric in Milan, where he eventually meets the bishop Ambrose, who finally explains Christianity and the Bible in a manner that makes sense to Augustine. Under Ambrose, Augustine became a "communicant," one who began to study the cathecisms in order to prepare for baptism. While many parts of the Old Testament started to be opened to him, especially about God creating the physical world (something the Manichees taught against), still he struggled with his concept of God being a physical mass, not yet comprehending a completely spiritual God.
On to Book VI.
Back to Book IV.

John Michael Talbot

I went to see John Michael Talbot yesterday (Monday night - April 4th) at St. Rita's Catholic Church in Fairfax, California, with my friend Bob Merwin, and a new friend, Joe. The church next door, St. David's Anglican Church, sponsored the "ministry." As a young, "born-again" Christian, I heard him often, as many of my close friends loved his music, especially my good friend, Greg McMillan. My wife, Lori, tells me she remembers listening to him before he became a Christian when was a guitarist for Mason Proffit, a country folk-rock band he formed with his talented brother Terry. To make a long story short, John Michael is now the General Minister and Spiritual Father (a self-named title) of a monastic community, "The Brothers and Sisters of Christ," at Little Portion Hermitage, in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, the only community in North America to receive canonical status from the Catholic Church, with celibates, singles, married couples, and families, who take evangelical councils of chastity, poverty and obedience - appropriate to their circumstances.

On this night, John Michael Talbot spoke more than played music. From listening to his music in the past, and partly based on what I heard about his monastic tendencies, I half-expected a contemplative tone explicating spiritual truths, if he spoke at all. My expectations were magnified when I saw his present appearance, since his pictures from when I listened to him were of a younger man without a long white beard, which, with his monk garments, and long hair, made him look a bit like an early church father - especially when he announced he would talk about a Walk Through the Liturgy, though I was interested in the topic. I was pleasantly surprised by a lively speaker who spoke in contemporary language and tones, engaged the audience, loved to speak in humorous tones (sometimes with just a look), all while urging Catholics and non-Catholics alike to find a renewal in Christ, especially in the Catholic liturgy, but anywhere and everywhere as well, as he quickly changed his tone to solemnity and reverence.

When he intervened with music, it was truly heavenly. He is a highly skilled acoustic guitar player, and I can't think of hearing anyone who played it as well as I heard him play.

What I found best was his explanation of the traditions of Catholicism, not only of the Mass, but especially of entering into church, and every step following that, as part of an encounter with the Lord.

Perhaps one of the highlights was seeing several old friends there I had not seen for a while.

Your Word Is Truth

I took a break from Augustine's Confession, and just finished a book, "Your Word Is Truth." It's a book issued in 2002 by a project called Evangelicals and Catholics Together, a group of prominent Evangelicals and Catholics who have been exploring areas of agreements and disagreements between the two groups. This book contains a statement, the third by this group. The first statement in 1994 was simply called, Evangelicals and Catholics Together: The Christian Mission in the Third Millenium. The second statement in 1997 delved into the touchy area of justification which they called, The Gift of Salvation. (I may go back to these statements sometime.)

They issued their third statement in 2002, entitled, Your Word Is Truth. This time, they combined the statment with 6 essays, three written by Evangelical scholars, and three written by Catholic scholars. It explores the relationship between Scripture and tradition in both communities. The six essays are:

1. An Evangelical Reflection on Scripture and Tradition by Timothy George. (Evangelical)
2. Revelation, Scripture, and Tradition by Cardinal Avery Dulles. (Catholic)
3. The Bible in Use: Seeking Truth From Scripture by J.I. Packer. (Evangelical)
4. Catholic Reflections on Discerning the Truth of Scripture by Thomas G. Guarino. (Catholic)
5. The Role of "Tradition" in the Life and Thought of Twentieth-Century Evangelicalism by John Woodbridge. Evangelical
6. Reading Scripture in the Catholic Tradition by Francis Martin. (Catholic)

I very much enjoyed this book for learning the different perspectives of prominent Catholic and Evangelical scholars in their approach to both Scripture and tradition (or Tradition). It helped my understanding immensly. They agreed, "In communion with the body of faithful Christians through the ages, we also affirm together that the entire teaching, worship, ministry, life, and mission of Christ's Church is to be held accountable to the final authority of Holy Scripture, which, for Evangelicals and Catholics alike, constitute the word of God in written form (2 Timothy 3:15-17; 2 Peter 1:21)." This is bascially a statement for Sola Scriptura, which Catholics in the essay say the Roman Catholic Church affirms, while the Evangelicals, best stated by J.I. Packer, say they affirm tradition. I found in reading through the essays and the joint statements that Catholics and Evangelicals are not that far apart on this, though their emphasis differ. However, both did not try to overlook their differences in an effort to promote ecumenical unity, and they stated their remaining diffences.

I was greatly encouraged in reading the statement and essays in this book, though it takes effort and is not easy reading. Besides, I very much enjoyed the history in the essays of Trent, the Reformation, and especially 20th Century Evangelicism.

Neo-Orthodoxy - Saving Jesus From The Church

Usually when I speak with Christians about neo-orthodoxy, I get a glazed look. So it is easier to talk about it in the context of a book I recently finished, Saving Jesus From The Church, (2009) by Robin N. Meyers, a pastor and a philosophy professor at Oklahoma City University. Dr. Meyers believes science rules out miracles and thus it is intellectually dishonest to believe in the Incarnation, the Virgin Birth, the miracles of Christ, Original Sin, the Blood Atonement forgiving sins, the Resurrection, the Ascension, eternal life, or to accept the Bible as truth on these points.

Yet Pastor Meyers passionately affirms the resurrection - the continuation of the teachings of Jesus in his followers. He promotes a faith in living the teachings of Jesus apart from beliefs. He urges a discipleship of sacrifice, disconected from worship. He pleads for a Christianity of compassion which says nothing about sin. He asks us to enter into a relationship with God and each other, though it is unclear if Meyers believes in a God beyond a great mystery - the wholly other - certainly not the infinite personal God of the Bible. As with other neo-orthodox, Meyers wants to use the historic words of Christianity and the Bible in a modern sense to trigger an experience leading to an authentic man in an existential sense.

Meyers finds nugets of the teachings of Jesus, the sage, in the New Testament, but they must be sifted out from the nonsense the Church threw in to make up the Christ, a false God to be worshiped. That is why Jesus must be saved, or rescued from the Church. Meyers finds the work of the Jesus Seminar especially helpful where liberal and neo-orthodox scholars voted with colored beads for which passages of the New Testament were true and acceptable, and which passages were made up by the Church and thus to be rejected.

Meyers does well to reject a dead orthodoxy that merely recites beliefs without sacrificial discipleship, and Christians should heed this. However, Meyers sets up a false dichotomy when he asserts that an intellectually honest living faith must reject miracles, doctrine, or worshiping Christ as God. Meyers ignores solid scholars who stand up for, and explain, an orthodox Historic Christianity.

While some Christians might be tempted to condemn Meyers, and those like him, it would be better to love them and be prepared to give an answer for the hope we have with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15) by explaining how Christianity promotes reason and by living our Christian faith in such a way that wins others.

The Confessions - Book IV

Book IV of Augustine's Confessions takes us through his life from age 19 to age 28. Augustine taught rhetoric as depicted in in the painting to the left by the Dutch painter, Jan Van Scorel (1495-1562), "St. Augustine Teaching Rhetoric." (That may be Monica on the left grieving or praying for her son.) As a master rhetoritician, Augustine was very full of himself at this time.

Though Augustine continued to pursue sexual sin, he eventually settled down with a woman for close to ten years, and had a child through her, though he did not formally marry her.

Augustine continued during this time in Manicheaism, including a form of prediction, partly based on astrology, associated with an elaborate sacrificial ritual. The painting to the left by an unknown Flemish artist, "St. Augustine Sacrificing to a Manichean Idol," depicts this ritual. Augustine, with the help of a friend, eventually concluded that astrology was "uterly bogus," and that when the predictions did happen to come true, it was mostly by chance aided by some skill of the predictor in discerning something about the nature of the one who sought a prediction.
Augustine formed a very close friendship. He found that a close friend was like having one soul in two bodies (poetic). His friend became gravely ill. Christians baptized him while he was mostly unconscious  He began to recover, and Augustine looked forward to jesting with him about this baptism (which Manicheans despised). However, before he could share this laugh, his friend suddenly relapsed and died. Augustine was crushed, feeling like half his soul had been torn away. "At this grief my heart was utterly darkened; and whatever I beheld was death."

Augustine would recover, but from then on, his thoughts would be marked by the transitiveness of this life. He studied and wrote books, and begins to deeply ponder life - what is permanent, what is beautiful, what is fitting? Though he thinks he is brilliant, ultimately he finds nothing satisfactory and no satisfactory answers.

On to Book V.
Back to Book III.

The Confessions - Book III

Augustine, whose father had died by now, moved to Carthage at age 18, where he continued his sinful ways and began his studies in rhetoric. He studied one of the great rhetoriticians, Cicero (his bust on the left) - specifically Horentius, a book now lost to us. It argued that the the pursuit of truth through philosophy - the love of wisdom - led to the happy life. This thought deeply moved Augustine "and turned my prayers to Thyself O Lord." Augustine "longed with an incredibly burning desire for the immortality of wisdom." Eventually, this lead him to start reading the Bible.

Unfortunately, the Bible Augustine started reading was a poor Latin translation of the Greek, and it seemed too "lowly" for his "swollen pride" and his "sharp wit" could not seem to "pierce the interior" of it.

Soon, Augustine fell in with the Manicheans, a heretical Gnostic Christian sect that arose in Persia, which combined Greek philosophy with Christianity. Augustine describes Manicheanism, but critically as a Christian following his conversion. So Augustine complains they offered him the sun and the moon, things God created, instead of offering God himself. Their God was confused with material matter, instead of understanding his immortal and spiritual nature. And as with other Gnostics, they did not believe God could have created this world with its evil material matter - that must have been done by a demi-God. Augustine would be confused by the Manicheans for the next 9 years.

In the meantime, his mother, Monica began to ardently pray for Augustine. She saw the local bishop and asked him if he would talk to young Augustine. The bishop declined, saying Augustine was not teachable yet, and urged her to keep praying for him. She told the bishop of her tears over Augustine. He told her, "Go thy ways and God bless thee, for it is not possible that the son of these tears should perish." Monica took this as the voice of heaven.

Back to Book II.

On to Book IV.

The Confessions - Book II

In his late teens, the young Augustine, having finished local school and waiting to start school in Carthage, embarks on a wild lifestyle, including erotic adventures. His mother, Monica, a Christian, admonishes against this lifestyle which young Augustine dismisses as "womanish advice." His father Patrick, a pagan, seems indifferent and even somewhat expects this moral licentiousness, as long as Augustine focuses on his education, seen as a means to worldly success.

Augustine focuses on one episode from this chapter of his life which involves, of all things, pears. One night after Augustine and his friends could find no other havoc to raise, settled on stealing pears from a nearby pear tree. Augustine now wonders about this theft. He was not hungry nor needed pears. In fact, he and his friends only tasted the pears, and then threw them away to the hogs. They stole the pears for the pure evil joy of stealing. Augustine ponders - the pears themselves were good, his desire for a pear by itself was good, and friendship is good, yet all this turned evil and sin for the joy, sweetness, sport, and love of sin - a turning from God - which Augustine now deeply regrets. Augustine realizes a parallel with fornication - his desire for women and sex was good, but it all turned to evil for the joy, sweetness, sport, and love of sin - a turning from God.

Yet as Augustine recalls what he now calls "rottenness," he praises God for His mercy, His forgiveness, and especially His Grace, that has "melted away my sins as it were ice." Augustine seems to understand that as much as he might recoil at the sins of his youth, it was a journey God had him on to become the man he had become when he wrote The Confessions. The nearby icon by Meltem on the left represents this with Augustine stealing from the pear tree to the left, Augustine later sharing a meal with a friend in the center, and Augustine as a pastor, bishop, and scholar in later life to the right.

On to Book III.

Back to Book I

Augustine's Confessions - Book I

Augustine takes the first few sections of Book I to praise God. For Augustine, praising God is a confession.

Then Augustine starts his biography. He not only takes us back to his birth (depicted in the painting on the left), but he speculates on his life in the womb, and even before the womb, which reflects his philosophical bent.

Instead of telling us what others told him about his childhood, or reflecting on his earliest recollections, Augustine tells us about his childhood from what he has learned from observing children, and then drawing inferences and conclusions about them and about him as a child. He concludes that children, including himself as a child, regardless of how cute they may appear, are sinners.

He also notices that the children, who start out by playing children's games, grow up to be adults who play more elaborate versions of children's games in business and politics.

Augustine tells us he did manage to learn a few good things in school, like how to read and write. (The painting to the right shows young Augustine being taken from his mother, Monica, to go to school.) However, he found that his teachers mostly wasted his time, since they seemed intent on teaching their pupils how to play the more elaborate games adults spent their time engaged in.

Back to Introduction.

On to Book II.

Augustin's Confessions

I long intended to read The Confessions (usually called The Confessions of St. Augustine in order to distinguish it from other books by that name). I finally decided to read it - and write about it in this blog. It contains 13 books, so I will post as I finish each of its 13 books. I will start with an introduction.

Scholars consider The Confessions as the first autobiography written in the West. In one way, it's a strange autobiography since Augustine wrote it during 397 and 398, when he was about 40 years old. Many think he wrote it as a response to those who considered him too young as a Christian to serve as a bishop, were worried about the rumors of his wild background or his former attachment to an anti-Christian religion. Augustine certainly meets all these concerns head on.

However, it is not just an autobiography, or just a confession, as we tend to think of those words. For Augustine, "confession" meant not just telling your sins, but also to praise God. And a good portion of the book delves into deep philosophic considerations, as Augustine ponders some of the deep questions about life - as well as deep questions about God.

That is why The Confessions had not only such a deep influence in the Middle Ages, but still influences down to this day, as it is widely read and known by Christians across denominational lines, as well as by non-Christians who respect Augustine's thoughts and the journey he descibes.
On to Book I.

Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis - Overview

The Puritan Dilemma

I finished reading The Puritan Dilemma: The Story of John Winthrop by Edmund S. Morgan, who used to be Professor of History at Yale.

Many caricaturize Puritans as drab people who mostly lead drab lives, except perhaps for insidious witch-hunting, who insisted on austere living. Professor Morgan instead presents them as real people who made the daunting decision to settle a new land, and faced a variety of challenges as they did so, especially John Winthrop, the elected governor of the Massachusetts Bay Company.

Imagine if you wanted to escape the evils of society to set up a new land where God's will and law would be followed - to be an example to the rest of the world. How would you divide the land, set up the government, set up the churches? What would be the relationship between the state and the church, between the government in Massachusetts and England, between the churches in Massachusetts and England, between believers and non-believers in Massachusetts? The Puritans, under the leadership of Winthrop, worked out solutions to these problems, though not perfectly, yet in ways that affect us down to this day, as we still graple with many of these issues, as Mr. Morgan explains in this excellent book.

The Puritans, who were part of the Church of England, but wanted to purify it, had to work through issues of separtism (those who simply wanted to separate from the Church of England), presbyterianism, and congregationalism. They also had to work through issues about what to forbid without winding up forbidding what God did not forbid. Through it all, Morgan presents a history of real people working through these real problems, with the gamut of the wise and foolish, the far and short sighted, the impetuous and the patient, and at times, these traits appeared in the same person, including Winthrop, though overall, he proved to be an admirable, though not perfect, leader of this new country.

Unity and Diversity

Whatever we believe, as we look out on this world (or the cosmos), we observe an incredible diversity, in the animal kingdom, in the plant world, in geology and topography, in the planet and stars. So we wonder if there is a unity to this diversity, on various levels, and on an ultimage level. Greek philosophy focused on this question. Modern science focuses on this question, so that for the final years of his life, Albert Einstein tried to find an ultimate unity theory that would tie everything in science together, which he called a unified field theory. He died before he found that unity theory. Some scientists press on in this quest. Some think they have found it in string theory, but no one has yet come up with a testable experimental prediction, and so string theory remains outside of science for now and only an interesting theory.

However, even if someone found a unified field theory, this would still not be an ultimate unity of everything, it would be limited to science.

When the early Church Fathers met to discuss the nature and doctrine of the Trinity in Nicene, they realized that in the Trinity, a perfect answer existed to the problem of unity and diversity. They did not come up with the Trinity to solve this problem. Instead, they realized that the unity of the One God, with the diversity of the Three Persons of God, meant that unity and diversity eternally existed on the highest order of existence, and was fundamental to the entire creation.

So it makes sense at every level of creation to find various levels of unity and diversity, including a wide range of diversity yet still with unity.

This thinking on unity and diversity helps me in thinking about the Body of Christ, the Church. Some worry about the diversity they see in the Church. I mostly rejoice in it. There is unity in the head of the Church, who is Jesus Christ. Yet there is plenty of room for diversity in various denominations, associations, fellowships, and local churches, reflecting various traditions and flavors of Christianity, as long as orthodoxy is maintained.

The Nicene Creed states a basic orthodoxy, as well as states the highest order of unity and diversity within the Trinity. It does not get lost in some of the more minor doctrinal issues. That is why almost all Christian churches agree on the Nicene Creed, or at least do not dispute it. The Nicene Creed is not the only early church creed almost all Christian Churches agree on, but it the most well known one.

So I hope and pray that while we in the Church do not overlook our differences, we can appreciate them as part of the diversity in the Body unified under our Lord Jesus Christ, the head of the Church.